Being Jounin Ignominy
by Wolfy-chan
Summary: As a Jounin, Naruto finds it is harder to hold onto a sence of trust. No one loves a demon. *YAOI-KAKAIRU IMPLIED*


Note: Hell, I haven't read all of the manga.. None of it in fact... ._. I have volume one. I've seen all the anime up to date, desperately waiting for new eps every week to be subtitled X3 I have become quite fond to several pairings.. including several shota pairings.. but not in an explicit way e.e AU. I don't know how Jounin exams work, so I did it my way :D

Pairings: KakaIru is a pairing definitely described in here *They have a lemon scene, dammit! O*. Other suggestive pairs include NaruIru.

Rating: FF.net gets the supah censored PG-13 version! YAYY!...There is a version of this fiction UNALTERED *which means it has lemon and is rated past an R rating* which you can find here ...blueskywolf-dot-com-slash-ignominy-dot-html... BUT. HEAD WARNING. Children and delinquents alike; do not read the unaltered *and maybe even this* version if same sex pairings disturb you. It will traumatize you if you do... I advise the spiritual age of 18. Meaning you've grown out of that giggly train of thought that you get when someone calls out names of human genitalia. I accept no flames past this point, thank you very much :P Wait. Go ahead. Send them if you must. So I can share them with my friends so we can mock your outstanding typing skills XD HAHA! SPAM US! *rolls* okay. HUGE One shot. Because I dont write chapter fiction :D if you feel inspired and want to continue the story in some way, draw fan art, whatever of the nature, do tell me! I would love to see any if anything that comes out of this XD; Hell, who do I kid. My writing sucks...Onward, men!

**Being Jounin -Ignominy**

_This Fighter holds a terrible chakra deep inside him... A power that would sear me to the bone and relish on the bloody carcass. Such thoughts it makes me dwell upon. Best due not to rouse it...Although... _Shinobi can sometimes be cocky. _...The thought of facing it entices me. It would the the battle of my life, yet the fight of decades. _Hidden Sand Village Chuunin Kaze Miryou, a tall, thin boy wielding the powers of strong elemental Jutsu and summons eyed his opponent across the ring. Standing perfectly aligned diagonally, knee slightly bent over foot, one hand formed into the popular two finger , thumb wrapped starter of any seal or Jutsu was Hidden Leaf Villages number one, Hyperactive-Ninja, Uzumaki Naruto.

For several years now, Naruto and his team mates had battled their way through the struggles of being Chuunin. The tasks they were given daily weren't errands and chores villagers hired Genin to do, but hard, vigorous training, endurance that both tested body and mental strength. Tasks that broke the weak, mocked the sensitive, braved extraordinary. Prep for the big time... Being Jounin. Naruto now knew why Iruka-sensei didn't finish his Jounin training, besides settling as a Chuunin ranked teacher. Every night, he would lay in his bed, physically strained, mind racing, insomnia his new favorite mistress; beckoning him to the moonlight to dance the song of the death-art on top of the water's wake. It soothed him, yet ached him more.

_As soon as I'm Jounin, the better... _Naruto pondered, eyeing his opponent in respective turn. It was a bigger turn out than the Chuunin exams; Everyone was there. All his teachers, all the villagers, foreign ninja villages (like the one he was fighting) he was now regularly accustomed to battling, and the glorious Konoha Kage, Hokage, sat at the top, speculating each fight, deciding whether to hatch the young warriors, or send them back to the incubator. Kakashi, Iruka, Asuma, Kurenai, Gai, and many many other teachers sat in their respective places along side Hokage to monitor the fruits of their labor. The most attentive being Kakashi and Iruka themselves, praying that Naruto wouldn't screw this up.

The Orange Shinobi knew better than to goof off at this crucial moment; how he did here, decided whether or not he was able to go one step higher to realizing his dreams. Hell, if he put on a good fight as well, maybe a few of the villagers would notice him for at least his strength. A wide grin dimpled in cheeks as he shifted into another seal, the crowd screaming for action.

Miryou grew impatient and brought a hand forward as he sprinted to the opposite side. His fingers convulsed backward as a large curved blade sprang from it's palm. It shot out so quickly that Naruto had only a fraction of a second to see him grab the engraved handle. Naruto twisted his body backwards to dodge a swipe of the knarled blade, and finished his hand seal. At that moment, and single arm sprang out directly under the soil to latch onto Miryou's ankle. Surprised, he stumbled slightly as the form unearthed itself to throw the Chuunin's balance westward. Another Naruto beamed at his prize and vanished in a small puff of smoke, leaving it's deep hole on the battle field.

"Using a Jutsu for so long..." Naruto taunted, "You would think it would get boring. Until you realize that jutsu are more customizable as toy trains, if you know how to direct the chakra flow."

"Most Likely coincidence on your part." The Sand Ninja regained his balance and pinged the side of his blade with the wall. The crowd was roaring after the revealed Naruto Shadow Replica transformed directly below the terrain's surface, to spring out at it's opponent at the exact moment. Of course Naruto had to wait for him to move over his way; he could only change a certain amount of chakra flow, diminishing long distance attack. _No doubt about it... This guy has talent_ Miryou mused, thinking of what to do next. Carried by the wind, the young Ninja advanced his blade over Kunai in split seconds. Both boys were extremely alert at this point, hearts pounding with excitement, crowds cheering, such an awesome moment.

"I'm curious, Naruto-kun," Miryou graves farther into the small Kunai Naruto held "about this other being I sense. You would seem extremely weak without his presence."

Naruto's eyes widened. _He's sharp... _The only thing the ninja could be asking about, was the power of the demon Kitsune. His own personal hell. The hatred he was graced with when a child's eye could not understand. The loneliness that came with it. There was no way Miryou could stand up to the mighty power he contained, neither could anyone else in that coliseum for that matter unless they performed the sacred seal again, sacrificing their lives once more. Yet, the fighter compelled him to show his true spirit. The two broke away, both landing several kilometers apart.

"You won't be able to win, Miryou-kun." Naruto warned, strangely humbled and drawn back. His soul was screaming inside.

"Show it to me. The power so said feared by every man. Let me be the one to break the uneasiness between you two." His words were wise, yet foolish. And Naruto braved to follow their offer. The Kunai was dropped. Naruto idly fell to his knees, his head skyward as he felt the burning sensation arise past his body and into the air. His senses broadened, his eyes more focused on the traces of life in every living breathing thing, their hearts and blood in sync with his own, melting like butter across his tongue. His hands grew ragged and knobby, fingernails grooved and arched back into long ivory claws, K-9 teeth drooping over another in a long pointed fashion, eyes red and facial markings deeper. He felt it again. For so many years he forgot about it... In a sickly way, it felt good. The red chakra licked and seared through the air around him...

"HOKAGE-SAMA! The seal! It could break! He'll kill everyone in the coliseum!!" Kakashi shot out of his chair, and bent over the balcony to witness the transformation. Iruka sat wide eyed in terror... Remembering that presence.. That horrid chakra... His lower lip twitched uncontrollably, unable to speak. Kakashi was ready to jump off of the balcony when a voice stopped him;

"Don't be so hasty, Kakashi... Look." Hokage pointed at the transformed Naruto, standing upright and still, the aura still oozing out of his being. He proceeded toward his opponent, every step creating small craters in the ground. Miryou was stunned by the new being in front of him, bordering the sense of pure fear. A hand raised to meet Miryou's face, but he blocked it with his saber. The hand instead grappled into the saber and crunched the metal under it as if it was a piece of paper. Crunching it more in one hand, blood spraying out of the wound it caused, Naruto lifted his face to the other boy, wide eyed;

_"This is what you wanted to see, didn't you?"_

Kakashi's visible eye widened more. "He...He's stable in that form!... He's controlling it..!"

Naruto pushed his opponent back without any strain, yet Miryou went tumbling, skidding across the dirt a little ways away. Naruto's face was placid, unwavering, his eyes now slanted, oblique. He continued to walk toward his opponent again, _"This horrid thing... That everyone hates? This devil I am cursed to contain inside myself until life's end and after? It's never used in combat because it is unfair,evil, unrighteous..." _He turns to the raging crowd; men and women alike afraid and outraged by his transformation.

_"...BUT IS THAT ALL I AM?! A MONSTER?!" _He roared in his dual toned voice, Nostrils flaring and teeth clenched open, mouth wide, _"Something you despise! Hate! I am someone completely different... The demon can't control me. For so long I have thrived to be noticed... To Be acknowledged for who I am...But it isn't good enough.. IS IT FOR YOU?! ALL I AM AND WILL EVER BE IS A SICK, DISGUSTING, VILE, CREATURE,UNLEASHED FROM THE BOWELS OF HELL TO DEVOUR YOUR CHILDREN?!" _The creature's voice remained silent inside, weeping in it's shame. Iruka could only watch and gape at the angered form down in the arena, wide streams of tears running down his face.

_He's been blamed all this time for something he didn't do. Hated for what he wasn't. How, Naruto... _Kakashi turned to the paralyzed teacher, a new wave of emotion shot through him instantly. It would be shameful for him to be that scared...But what caused it? Why did Iruka give into emotion?

Naruto unsheathed a second Kunai from his leg holster, and pointed it's tip at his throat. The malicious aura seemed to have died in those brief seconds, his new traits still shined visibly on his body. The intensity subsided, and in this state, was very vulnerable, bordering mental break down, _"This is what you all want right..? Wanting me _**_DEAD_**_? So you won't have to be afraid anymore?!"_

"STOP!" Iruka yelled over the side of the balcony with all the voice he could muster, leaping to his feet. An old hand paused further advancement. Hokage dismounted his position at the head chair, and proceeded forward to the edge of the balcony,

"That is enough, Naruto. Your battle is over." He said calmly over a hushed crowd. Most too shocked or bewildered to run further away, argue, riot, and whatever further activity that pursued when Naruto's hidden power was released to the eye of the city. Naruto's neck twisted and weapon once again dropped. He bowed his head, closed his eyes, and let out a sigh. Naruto, age 18, had been humbled in his long years as a chuunin shinobi. He then turned around to face the other that was with him, eyeing him from the floor with an intense fear. The blonde progressed toward the Sand ninja, his aura returning to normal. He offered an open hand to Miryou on the floor. As his fingers extended, they returned to their original shape, claws vanishing, knobby fingers returning to their round, callused appearance. Naruto's half open eyes returned to their deep cobalt blue, solid and blank.

"I apologize." He stated sincerely, so out of character, even to his older self. Battle and the bonds he held with certain people were the only things he kept sacred... Miryou lingered on Naruto's face for a moment, before accepting his hand to pull himself out of the dirt.

"What a power. You can manipulate it well." Miryou dusted off the hem of his robe, trying to hide the fear that enveloped him when Naruto's aura was at it's fullest.

"Something I am not too proud of. But I wont let it control who I am." He replied, nodding to Miryou out of respect, before making his exit from the arena.

_There couldn't be a more cruel fate than his. Yet he tries to make the best of it._

"Such a fighter deserves some acknowledgment" He mused aloud imparticularly to a hushed audience, "and for that, I respect him."

--

"You scared the shit out of us back there! What the hell were you trying to do?!"

"Oh. So you're now my mother?"

"Idiot! Some people just cant accept what you are! You're never going to become what you dream of being if you have hundreds of men behind you every night, itching to slit your throat!"

"Sorry, _mom._ It's not something I can hide behind anymore. And if they can't see me for the person I am, like **you** can't, then by all means, let the blood splatter."

Sometimes Sakura couldn't understand who this person was anymore. He was so different, low self-esteem, straight to the point. _Not Naruto. _What happened to the sugar induced blockhead they cradled under their hand and foot every moment?

--

"For many years has the Konoha Ninja Academy, among all of the institutes and villages in their respected countries have brought us the saviors and fighters of ages. Many surpassing our expectations, surprising us each day. I have been bestowed the privilege as Kage of Fire Country, along with the other Kage who have graced us this evening, to bestow the second to highest Shinobi ranking to several of this day's most talented Chuunin. As tradition goes, each Chuunin will make their transaction to Jounin rank by brandishing their country's uniform, stating their name, and tying their native Shinobi country's head protector to a part of their body down in the center of the arena.

"These young men and women have already been notified if they have passed our expectations and are already in proper robe. Let us begin!" The crowds were ecstatic. One by one, Chuunin in their country's uniform, stating their names, and tying their headbands to themselves, became Jounin. Many of Konoha's own Chuunin advanced; among them being Sakura, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Ino, Iichichougi, Shino, and Hinata to name a few... But while standing out there in front of the wild crowds, some couldn't help but linger on a feeling that lurched inside of their stomach;

_Would Naruto make it?_

Hokage cleared his throat before resuming, "And finally, the last, but not least of the Jounin Graduates... He has been all of our expectations and beyond; his drive and motivation to become stronger everyday can only be leveled with his amount of courage and bravery. He is not a team member to look down upon, but to depend on with your life. Ever since the first day of training, he had made a promise to himself and the people of Konoha village. He has become one of the most incredible Chuunin to take rookie standards into his advancement..."

The arena was hushed as the Chuunin made his entrance. A large pointed rice hat adorned his lowered head and sandaled feet, lifted themselves slowly forward. His Uniform looked like every other Konoha Jounin's, but from elbow, to the groove between thumb and index fingers, were wrapped long white cloth, Bracers in for form of small bracelets curved slightly over the top of his hands. Three separate belts hung from his waist holding various weapons, scrolls, and other things in small pouches or rings sewn onto the belts. The headband he held in his hand contained a rather long band, the sort you would tie, and the rest would droop past one's neck and onto your shoulders. He paused when he entered the center along side the other graduates. Raising his hand to the hat, he pulled it down to the ground off his face, slightly rounded, but defined structure, wild blonde hair, blue eyes, and a trademark smirk. Tying the headband at a slight angle across his forehead let the ends drop over his right shoulder,

"Uzumaki Naruto... Has Graduated!" He stated clearly to a surprised audience. It only took moments before the sea of human bodies convulsed with noise; not out of anger, but of praise. The grin he adorned grew more bright and true, his heart racing and insides turning. _He was noticed._ He was a great Ninja that people respected. It didn't take long for other Konoha Jounin down in arena to topple the blond and squeeze him practically to death. He was living in a moment he had dreamed of day in and out, but he couldn't help but think of other things as well.. Things he would have to ask his teachers post ceremony. He let the voices drown into echoes, happy praise from his classmates, warm embrace... He finally knew what it was like to be truly welcome inside of his village.

--

The ramen house had never creaked with so many bodies before; all jabbering about recent accomplishments, their tests, assignments already given to them as Jounin. Naruto of course, not stopping once for a silent breath, between slurping down Bowels of Ramen, and talking with his comrades.

"You threw us all off back there!"

"I thought you wouldn't make it..."

"It must be difficult channeling enough thought to control that power!"

He laughed sheepishly when they mentioned the Oni's* strength. Indeed he had learned how to control the desires that were brought with the power; the hunger for blood was one of them... It felt so good at first... That warm feeling when he could feel every pulsing vein inside each of the audience's body... Their hearts beating in time to his... He imagined the copper fluid running down his throat, it clung like honey on the insides of his mouth, graceful as is dripped down his mouth and hands... so intense and so vivid in his illusion. Every time he was enticed by that hunger, he placed another vision over it; himself, Naruto, ripping apart the bodies of the ones he loved; one by one, Sakura, Kakashi, Iruka, Sasuke, The Hokage himself, and all his classmates screaming in terror as they witnessed the shinobi rip out their own Jugulars, plunging into their stomachs, disembodying their heads. It made him want to scream. Slowly the beast subdued and softened under Naruto's internal struggles. While in this state of brooding, Iruka glanced over his side to look at the Jounin in deep thought. He could remember so vividly the tears that shamefully ran down his face, and the tired, sad red eyes Naruto possessed.

"You're going to make a great Jounin, Naruto-kun." He said with a smile. Naruto snapped out of his trail of thought, eyeing the smiling teacher.

"I would have never had the opportunity to be here, if it wasn't for your Kindness, Iruka-sensei" He said scratching the back of his head.

"Oh? Geese, Naruto. You dont need to call me Sensei anymore! You are a full fledged Jounin! I have nothing left to teach you" he said in reply, mimicking Naruto's action by scratching his chin with his index finger.

"Liar." Naruto said mildly, letting go of his own neck, resting his elbows on the counter top. Iruka could remember when the boy could barley see over the counter, bouncing off of the seat and practically drowning himself in those large bowls of ramen. Naruto continued; "Of all the things I treasure, were they things I neglected when I was a young shinobi. Things I took for granted. It wasn't like I couldn't understand the material... I did it all! It was just really hard for me to get it all down as fast as other students.. And the fact that a greater urge to do something else compelled me four out of five times I needed to study." He grinned sheepishly, his cheeks slightly colored, "But when I look back now. At when I became a Chuunin, and even a Genin, you always taught me something new and useful whenever we met to talk or kept each other's company. I still find lesson in your words."

Iruka was stunned. _Who is this sitting next to me?? Is that Naruto? _Had he missed some transaction in the boy's life that defined a greater solitude and appreciation? Naruto had grown up. Naruto's words almost caused an emotional uproar in his system, of which he contained. He worried too much about Naruto's up bringing. He loved his student like a son, maybe as a younger brother almost. Ever since Hokage assigned Iruka to take care of the child, he at first resented the fact of irony; caring for the beast that killed his parents. It was hard for him at first to keep a straight face around the baby boy, disgust riddled his mind... But his warm face made the thoughts disappeared. _Naruto was different_. He wasn't a monster, but a new life that deserved a chance to become something great. Iruka shut his eyes tight and smiled. Not able to hold it all inside, the defeated Sensei embraced his deciple in a warm hug. Naruto stiffened, surprised, but melted into his embrace and returned the gesture shamelessly.

"You don't know how happy I am for you..." Iruka's voice slightly trembled. He felt the top hem of Naruto's jacket, similar to his, his body so different. That day when he passed Naruto and made him able to become a Genin was the last time he remembered feeling like this. Naruto in turn clenched slightly to the older man's back, his one true friend and guide that believed in him from the beginning. The action only lasted several moments, and drew very little attention. But one attentive ear couldn't help but notice.

"Iruka is right, Naruto." Another stool down from Iruka sat the Scarecrow Sensei, Kakashi. After all these years, the Jounin still had that drugged over look and ridiculous hairstyle. Naruto leaned back on his stool to look at him, "You have surpassed your Sensei, and I myself have nothing left to offer. You of all people would be teaching us something, if anything" he said playfully, shrugging his shoulders.

"Damn, are you Sensei a bunch of prevaricators??" Naruto growled sardonically, almost falling off of his stool, "Lying about your status fine, but not what nature intended to be constant isn't. You can't deny the fact that you have at least taught someone **one** new thing everyday. In theory, 'Sensei' is a title given to one devoted to the art of teaching. But aren't we all relatively Sensei in our own way?"

"Oh? Wise contradiction. Okay Smartass, what have I taught you today?" Kakashi folded his arms and grinned through the fabric over his mouth and nose. Naruto rubbed his thumb across his chin in contemplation, beginning to feel premature facial hair grow in. Hell, he didn't want it, so he would have to deal with it when it grew in.

"You taught me of how little prestige you credit yourself for. Without some of the whit you've smacked into me over the past years, I would have been a dead man on countless occasions."

Kakashi chuckled at the Jounin and raised his hands in defeat. Naruto smirked and returned his gave to the center of the counter top.

"I dont know how long I can be accepted as a Jounin before people start complaining. Some even may refuse me as a client." He said still smiling. The two Sensei leaned a bit further in as the Blonde's voice softened, "It hurts sometimes, but I can't blame them."

"Eh. Don't worry about it. They need to get over it sooner or later. You aren't what they think you are." Kakashi sighed and rubbed his temple. The new and 'improved' Naruto sometimes made him dismal. He glanced over at Iruka, who was deep in thought as well.

"Well...Thanks..." Naruto's eyebrows drooped as he stood up from his seat. His name was being called several yards away by a waving Ino and a group of other new Jounin. He excused himself and herald the beckoning of his name while running that way. Iruka let out an exasperated sigh, resting his chin on his folded hands.

"You've been deeply troubled lately." Kakashi intruded the silence, "Especially at the exam..." He wasn't one to interfere with other's personal problems, but seeing the Sensei break down in front of a massive crowd was highly irregular. A Jounin knows better than to reveal emotion. Iruka found it necessary to rise a rank higher before Naruto took his own. He thought Naruto would get too big in the head if he was a class lower than the juvenile. Yet Iruka continued to prep new Shinobi for the trials ahead of them through education. Iruka stiffened and blinked his eyes slowly; _Reminding me..._

"...It's hard to explain..." He murmured, "Something you cant stop from happening..."

"You saw Naruto's transformation and it reminded you of the Kitsune that killed your parents" Kakashi said without tone.

"No."

The Sharingan Shinobi blinked. _What? Well... That's odd... I thought that was it."_

"It was Naruto himself. Do you remember what he said?"

_Is that all I am?! A Monster?!  
  
This is what you all want right..? Wanting me _**_DEAD_**_?  
  
So you won't have to be afraid anymore?!  
  
  
_"Such hardship he's been going through all this time... Hidden under a fake smile. Did it ever cross your mind that Naruto was concealing a great pain inside himself with a troublesome persona, forcing himself to be happy around others?" Indeed Kakashi has thought of it on numerous occasions, but he never accepted it as a complete shell. He thought Naruto found some happiness in what he did. The Scarecrow still believes it. He has a compassion for the ones he has been bonded to in these past years, and the few that stayed with him when he was growing up. "He was ready to kill himself down there, Kakashi... I knew he was serious. Even in his transformed state, I couldn't see any change in his eyes. If you want to know something about Naruto, you follow his eyes, they never lie. Out of all the times I have been with him, I have never seen them truly happy. He's afraid that the Oni inside of him will consume him one day, and kill everyone he held precious... I find that devastating..." Iruka was determined not to loose his cool, yet his voice was shaky and a bit shrilly.

_You love him that much. _Kakashi frowned, looked at the counter top, the rested one of his hands on Iruka's shoulder, "He wouldn't do that unless he was positively sure it would be for the best. You are someone he looks up to still greatly, and he in no way would want to hurt you."

Kakashi's words made him blush. Iruka couldn't help but notice the small squeeze emanating from the Jounin's hand upon his shoulder. The two Sensei had been drawn close in relation to the students they have recently been deprived of. They found themselves talking about them a lot; their progress, their weaknesses, and especially about Naruto. They worried about him, Iruka more open than Kakashi, but both the same.

"We can discuss this back at my apartment... Roaming ears attend to blossom in open fields." Iruka turned his gaze at other Jounin and Civilians that occupied the small space at the Ramen house. They both rose from their seats and proceeded eastward. The evening sun danced low across the shops and market place. Children followed in it's dregs, sailing through the sky on invisible wings to their nests and guardians, latching to their warmth. Iruka's face was content, that bright expression had long ago became a wrinkle in his skin. Not that he liked to admit it, he grew old along with his other cohorts and maturing students. It became a wonder how he could remember each and every name of every child handed to him and what they were like. It had been six years too many, Iruka almost bordering his third decade, felt tired all the time. Not tired of teaching, no, the one passion that kept him alive, but tired of the countless battles that raged on inside him. Sometimes he wished he could just go to sleep...

Iruka turned the key to his apartment door, opening the lock and door with a click, holding the door open for his guest out of courtesy. Kakashi slouched into a comforter with a sigh, and seeped deep into the soft leather.

"Tea?"

"Nah..."

Iruka in turn took a seat near Kakashi, letting his body give out under the cushioning. He unfastened the metal plated konoha bandanna around his forehead and placed it on the table. He wiped away the cold residue it left, "So spent all the time... Not what it used to be" he uttered under his callused palm. Kakashi surfaced from his furniture sea,

"You're too stressed out all the time, little porpoise." The scarecrow knew the other teacher was a little too lazy to kick him out at the moment.

"Stop calling me that..." He smiled, falling farther back into the chair, "Stressed, hm... Can't help it sometimes, but what is a lonely aging Sensei to do?" He heard the creak of leather, and the presence move over him, stroking the side of cheek, his eyes widened.

"Find companionship." 

--

Naruto's ears twitched silently, believing he heard something... Soaking in each and every trail of light emanating from Lamp Posts, Naruto trudged through the midnight black. Crickets chirped, frogs croaked, and the dead black was all he could see until he came upon another light. Becoming irritable of the blindness, he shifted his eyes; the red color fluidly taking over the blue, his pupils slitting vertically. They expanded immediatley...he could see everything. the dirt on the ground, the wood grain on the side of market stands, the life flowing through small rodents and insects that crossed his path. He smirked to himself. _At least it as useful for something..._ Using only parts of the Oni's power at a time did not change his Chakra, which was beneficial as well. Most shinobi are very keen to the evil Chakra the kitsune replaces Naruto's own with.

He had been walking for several hours now, silently contemplating, stopping to talk with several of his cohorts. It felt like a forced peace among the city against Naruto. They still despised that he was a demon, and he could tell their faces were lying to him. The people he knew most; Iruka, Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke, and Hokage were the small few that accepted him for hat he was. Grateful as he may be, he still hurt because others couldn't see him like they did. _I'll show them one day... That I am not a monster. That I WILL protect this village!_

He found himself at the doorway of Iruka's apartment. He felt an awkward Chakra flow from inside the room. His hand paused above he door handle. _Would Iruka know how to solve my problems...?_ He believed in the Sensei a lot, and trusted his judgment like law. But the problems he was having were questionable. _I wouldn't hurt to ask..._

Grasping the door handle, he felt no reason to knock, he wanted answers...He turned the knob and pushed the door slightly open. He took a step in,

"Iruk-...a..." His eyes flung wide open, their hue gradating back to blue, pupils minimizing. He stood frozen for a few moments, unable to take his eyes off of what was in front of him.

Iruka shot his head backwards in great surprise to see Naruto standing in his doorway, frozen. Iruka grew slowly paralyzed, gaping his mouth to speak words, but nothing would come out. In a matter of seconds, Naruto felt a shock flinch through his body.

"P-pardon..." He said trembling, his face aflame, searching backwards with his hand for the door handle. He grasped onto it clumsily and pulled himself around and out the door quickly, shutting it quite loud. He clenched tot he back of the wooden door in shock, his body ridged and shaking. His expression dropped, and his chest cleaved in a new pain. He blindly stumbled away as fast as he could, not bothering to change his vision option.

"We left the door unlocked..." Iruka could barley breathe, realizing what had just happened. The two felt extremely uncomfortable now as a guilt bore cavities into their insides.

--

He stood there. right in the middle of the road until the sun came up and the many towns people ventured out of their homes to start the new day. He stood in one spot, his head tilted upward, eyeing one single direction, the clouds passing his view. Many people passed him, some questioning why he was doing whatever he was doing, when they got no answer, they would leave. Naruto was trying to figure out hat he had done wrong. What lead up to what he saw that night. Another hour passed. Why the Sensei kept it secret. Another hour passed. He then remembered he had orientation that day, the basics to living up to Jounin standards. He prayed he wouldn't have to face them, his insides lurched at the thought. Naruto brought his vision back down, with a small blood-rush, and continued forward to the Ninja Academy.

He reached room 556 and was greeted by an onslaught of cohorts or others who were near the door. He saw neither Kakashi or Iruka, his tension easing a bit. _Forget about it... _The tips of his headband brushed the sides of his neck when he walked, the heavy green vest challenged his strength to hold it up for long periods. He had a total of six weapon compartments dangling from his three belts, the others consisting of bands for various scrolls. Naruto slumped down in a nearby chair as the Hokage himself entered the room. Many who were standing gave their bows, and took seats as well. The Hokage began to speak to them as a whole, but as if it were individually. Naruto was attentive for most of his speech, but began to slip as his mind wandered into farther regions. Insomnia had yet to take toll against his body, as if it were waiting for a crucial moment like this. His chest cleaved heavier than before, and it took a lot of strength to keep his head poised. His face began to glisten as he raised a hand to his forehead, trying to focus on one part of the wooden table.

"_A Jounin is the senior title of many great ninja. Civilians and other Shinobi alike depend on each and every Jounin's strength. A Jounin must be alert, strong, and willing to sacrifice anything to reach the needs of a client, or other goals...."_

_...to..._

_...Naruto...._

"...Naruto??"

A voice brought him out of the uneasy moment. A small bead of sweat traveled down his cheek and off his chin to the table.

"Naruto, are you ill?" Hokage's voice questioned, pausing his lecture to tend to the blonde. Naruto took in a heavy breath before replying,

"nngh...I apologize... I am not functioning properly" He uttered in a melancholic tone. He pushed his head upwards to fix his posture when addressing the Fire Guide, his vision slightly out of focus.

"I will address you later on this subject...Please go see the infirmary. I will have someone escort you back home." The Hokage's voice was stern, but also very concerned. Bowing his head, Naruto pushed himself up from the desk, and proceeded to the door, various uneasy murmurs could be heard.

Naruto trailed a hand along side the wall to keep his balance as he descended the flights of stairs until he reached the small white room at the end of the first floor. A young male nurse, slightly older than him, had Naruto take a seat in one of the chairs in the room. He had Naruto untie his head protector so he could feel his forehead and take his temperature. He clicked his tongue after he withdrew his hand.

"You've been straining yourself a bit too much. If you dont get some rest, you could be harboring serious fever." He stressed his words to the idle minded Jounin. Naruto nodded. He heard the click of the door as another person came into the room,

"I am here to take you-" Iruka faced the placid Naruto, "-...Home."

Naruto was about to object when he grabbed his bandanna and pushed himself upward. His shoulders suddenly became extremely heavy and he lost his balance. Iruka hurriedly caught the front of Naruto's vest before he fell to the floor. He shifted the young Jounin's weight onto one of his shoulders so he could walk him out of the office. Iruka gave his thanks to the practiction and proceeded out of the academy. Both were silent as they walked, Naruto slightly staggering, his head very light. He lulled his neck limply several times only to shoot it back up attentivley. Iruka eyed Naruto out of the corner of eye, concerned to say the least, yet very uncomfortable. They reached Naruto's apartment 10 minutes later, Iruka unlocking the door for the boy as they proceeded inward. He helped Naruto out of his vest and belts silently, Naruto extremely ridged, but unable to fight even if he wanted to. Iruka then helped him into bed, lingering for a moment. Iruka tried to speak;

"Naruto...About Last..I..-"

"-Why didn't you tell me?" Iruka was cut off by Naruto's shaky tone. He opened his mouth, but Naruto continued, "Was I not supposed to know...? Because it would hurt me?" He sucked in breath, "Learning the way I did wouldn't hurt me any less...?"

Iruka didn't know what to say. He looked at Naruto's eyes; they were slightly hazed over due to fever, in a sorrow-filled state, bordering a tinge of fear.

"Naruto...I'm Sorry..I..."

"Don't. Just...Don't...I don't know what to think right now, Iruka..." His voice lowered to a slight tremble, his breathing bore the same effect. "I n-need some time and sleep..."

"Ah..." Iruka nodded his head downward and turned around to leave the room. The guilt trip taking toll once again, the Sensei felt as if he betrayed another part of himself, yet he was blind to it until he felt the consequence. He died the many deaths as minds do, pleading for an answer to arrive.

--

"It's no use!! We can't hold it back for long!!"

"Damn! Where are the rest of the Jounin?!"

"Where is Naruto?!"

Iruka knew the blonde wouldn't be able to fight in his condition. And to Konoha Village's luck, became under the assault of a stray demon. Not the little niggling parasites that littered the outskirts of the village from time to time, but a force that held the same evil chakra as the demon Kitsune. It had canine features, darkened, it's eyes scarlet. It stood upright on it's hind legs, slightly morphed from a human's bone structure. It's mouth drooled openly as it lashed out at any that tested it's power. In groups, one by one, Jounin had been thrown away by it's mere force. If they managed to make it past that, they would be struck down by it's massive knarled hands. Kakashi and Iruka being among the few that held positions at the gate, ground their stances tight into the floor. _Damn! this is bad! _Iruka grit his teeth, _It's going to come into the village at this rate..!_

The demon progressed forward, bouncing back Jounin attacks as if they were small flies. Some would strain themselves to pick their bodies up again to try another assault, as others became too weak to lift their heads. The demon was now several feet away from the Jounin force guarding the gate. Iruka braced himself further for the anticipation of what was going to happen next. The beast lunged forward, raising it's clawed hand. Just as it was about to strike, the force dived into something else, pushing the Canine back pummeling through the air. It landed roughly on it's side trailing dirt in a cloud of dust. As the dust settled in front of the gate force, it showed another black figure; his black headband holding up spiked blonde hair, the belts dangling at his waist. One bandaged arm held an out pointed Kunai, as the other gripped onto a large searing gash trailing from his chest, all the way down to his left hip. If it wasn't for the hand gripping the wound closed, Naruto's insides would have surfaced and met the floor.

"Naruto...! What are you doing..?!" Kakashi shouted enraged, Iruka could only look on in terror at the large wound the you Jounin had taken, "You're going to get killed! You can't fight like this!!"

_"SHUT UP!"_ A dual tone rang in front of the two teachers. The force of his voice caused Naruto to spill a large amount of blood through his fingers. His eyes grew red and his features knobby. The gash then slowly closed hinder his ivory clawed hand, any traces of it ever being there were gone instantly after the transformation began, _"I'm always left in the dark about everything, AM I?!" _Although Naruto looked like he regained the ability to move on his own, his face was still glistened with a mild sweat, his breathing defined in long tight gasps, "_I've heard what people are saying... 'Oni Jounin', Naruto. A Shinobi to be feared by all villagers." _Kakashi let go of his stance and proceeded forward to join Naruto until the blonde's other hand flung forward in front of him. _"DON'T!"_ He shouted, _"This is the only way I can prove myself to the village! To any of you!" _The beast stirred from it's crumpled form on the floor, growling in an enraged manner, _"...That I can be trusted. Treated like an EQUAL...An ignominy...That's all you are to me now..." _Naruto trudged forward to face his battle with wide eyes, leaving gaping witnesses behind to view his vow.

And so he danced with wolves that night, fighting a test one's minds wrote. Winning the pride of some that day, was what he cleaved on a blade's sharp end. He wanted the same, that thought one gets when passing a stranger on the street, that emptiness of thought that we all muse, uncaring to the next. What he dreamed of was neither anyone's silver or gold, just the gift he wasn't granted, and what many forget to appreciate. Individuality too strong for him, Diversity a little great for him. To the day of nights he cried for this, they oblivious to his plight. So the next day he would die for this, just for a chance to be something of nothing.

Iruka and Kakashi gazed on at the war in front of them, unable move, unable to speak, unable to feel the silent tears running down Naruto's face.

--

END.

AN: WAA! That's it! :D *runs from flying rocks and sticks* This was fun to write n.n mainly because of ho I warped Naruto's personality. I saw him become tranquil and morbid to the fact that villagers still hated him as he got older. That he might become a demon best again..Kill their children..Destroy their village..ect. But basically Naruto has integrated and controlled the power itself to do with it as he pleased without transforming into the fully fledged Kitsune. Others couldn't accept that. The hardship he went through with that, adding on the other 'hidden relationships' he found out about made it seem coincidental to Naruto that everyone was against him. Sad, yes ._. The ham Goddess reigns supreme once more! C&C CRAVED! :D anything else you would like to contribute is welcome too!

*Oni : Demon. Beast.

Ignominy:(n.) Loss of or damage to ones reputation. 


End file.
